The truth is that the average person has sex once a week or less. What's more important is the quality of sex rather than quantity, as is exploring all your erotic zones from toes to clitoris to earlobes.
2 Things outside the bedroom cause most sex problems. Women who get time to rest, have help with housework or childcare report more satisfying sex lives.
3 Poor body image is a cause of women's sexual problems. Build your confidence and you'll feel more like being intimate. Try taking classes on assertiveness, drama or dance.
4 Many women aren't sure what turns them on, or they know what they fancy but are too shy to say. Help yourself by exploring masturbation and fantasies on your own, then with your partner. Dr Sprinkle's Spectacular Sex (Tarcher, £14.99) helps you work out what you'd like to do, while Carol Queen's book Exhibitionism For The Shy (Down There Press) explains how to ask for it.
5 Condoms are the new sex toys. As well as making him last longer, they're guaranteed to turn you on with their different textures or added lubricants. They're also free from family planning or GU clinics
6 Dare to ask for what you want - but not when you're having sex. You might laugh, but I have manuals to give to couples on when to talk about sex. Choose a time when you're both relaxed, not hungry and never be critical while you're actually having sex.
7 Take your time over things. It shocks couples when I ask them how long it takes for love-making and they think this means how long it takes to have sex. Love-making might lead to intercourse or it might not. Make time to caress, massage and enjoy each other's company.
8 Women suffer brewer's droop too. Alcohol may take away your inhibitions but it can also affect libido, interfere with lubrication and cause a loss of sensation. Over time alcohol and cigarettes will seriously affect your sexual function as they affect your nervous system and circulation.
9 Orgasm is an experience - not a goal. Many couples come to me disappointed they can't reach orgasm together. It's not the same experience for men and women. Clitoral stimulation leads to a sharp, intense orgasm - like a man's - but with penetrative sex women may be able to reach multiple, less intense orgasms.
10 Good sex is the result of physical and mental well-being. Eating a well-balanced diet, not smoking, not drinking large amounts of alcohol and caffeine, sleeping well and exercising regularly could guarantee a better sex life for most people.
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